Pushing the envelope of a PG-13 rating . . .

That's the way. 

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I like it. 

Uh-huh, uh-huh. 

It was on yet another run to the local In-n-Out Burger that I came upon it like some strange little oasis in the great expanse of strip malls and . . . well . . . pretty much just strip malls.

I was clipping along Sherman Way in the blue collar community of Reseda, thinking of nothing in particular and grinning like a damned fool only because it's really what I do best. Quite certainly I was once again lost in the simple joy of being in my homeland, enjoying the sunshine and palm trees and everything else that I've come to associate with the California Promise. In fact, the only thing missing was a double-strength avocado and banana smoothie tucked between my legs.

It was as I passed the intersection with Lindley Avenue that I realized the voices in my head had somehow taken on the unmistakable sound and rhythm of Harry Wayne Casey and his inimitable Sunshine Band. It really shouldn't have been that surprising, I suppose, since I've come to suspect that the San Fernando Valley is sorta stuck in the 1970's anyway. At least in my world, it's always 1977 when I'm kicking it in Reseda . . .

Glancing to my right at a vintage strip mall ("vintage" being 1972), I came upon a familiar sight that had me frantically reaching into the memory banks for some sort of an explanation. Déjà vu not being an altogether uncommon experience for me, I had never before found it to involve a nondescript little donut shop in the San Fernando Valley.

And only because I'd seen the movie about a zillion times, I quickly locked upon a scene in which a charming young black man wearing a white polyester suit is buying donuts on Christmas eve.

The movie was Boogie Nights and that actor was Don Cheadle; one of my favorite films, and truly one of my favorite scenes.

And that's when it hit me like a two-ton vat of Astroglide.

The realization that I was at the very epicenter of the adult film industry.

You see, the San Fernando Valley has become somewhat renowned for its hundreds, if not thousands, of pornographic film production companies. Many are situated within the working class confines of Encino and Tarzana and . . . yes, Reseda. Quite simply put, if it involves skin, it was likely filmed somewhere in the general area.

Now having never seen such a blue movie, I can only imagine what it might involve. And although I might have never indulged my more prurient interests in X-rated film, I did find myself drawn to a mainstream production called "Boogie Nights" which focused on the adult film industry of the 1970's and early 80's.

The movie is an interesting little fable about the dangers posed by celluloid sex and drugs and a life lived in excess. Front and center in the movie is Mark Wahlberg, portraying the . . . uh . . . well, the wildly out-of-proportion character of Dirk Diggler.

I am told the Dirk Diggler character is based firmly upon a real-life adult film legend known as John Holmes. I'm further told that The Wadman, as he was affectionately named, is no longer with us, having apparently moved on to a big porno soundstage in the sky. Rumor has it that he was taken by the AIDS virus in 1988, but that's only if my sources are to be truly believed . . .

Unlike the real life and ragingly hard times of John Holmes, the movie has a relatively happy ending in which everybody just keeps on trucking.

Anyway, after recognizing the donut shop as the film location for a climatic scene in Boogie Nights, I couldn't resist slipping inside for a peek and maybe a donut or two.

And of course, I couldn't resist throwing down a buck for a glazed twist that the owners had aptly named The Diggler.

You only live once.